Who Needs Validation?

“No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt



Over and over again I hear it from fellow competitors and girls that I train, “…I just can’t concentrate… my head isn’t in the game… I have too much going on…” and too often than not it has to do with a guy. Whether it be someone they just started dating, a long term boyfriend, and sometimes even husbands, there are many guys out there that aren’t supportive and view Fitness/Figure as a distraction and as ‘something’ that takes away from their time or plan. Trust me, I understand that this is sometimes a selfish sport, as countless hours are spent in the gym, preparing food, and the prohibiting of being able to eat out or attend certain functions. There are definitely compromises that need to be made from both sides, however, I am also the first person to say “Deal with it… this is me, and what makes me happy…. Take it or leave it.”



I have seen girls give up when they are so close, or just not put 100% into a goal that they have set for themselves all due to outside forces either being unsupportive or better yet, being made to feel that what they were doing was ‘stupid’, ‘silly’, not worth the effort, or something of the like.

In past years, I have had more clients than I care to remember drop out of shows due to “man issues’. (Realize, that this is not the same as ‘family issues’ and other circumstances that take priority over goals, etc.) Now, if I tell you that I have never had ‘issues’ or times when I thought that I just couldn’t mentally handle it, it would be a lie. But I some how was able to dig deep and realize that I was doing this (Whatever your goal may be) for a reason… ummmm, cause it’s what I want to be doing. So why stop? Why not complete the journey that I have set out for myself? Because someone else doesn’t agree with it? I don’t think so!! I’ve pleaded with girls to say “EFF” them… it’s about me, and if he can’t handle it, then too bad. Move on… go forward. But for whatever reason there are girls who let these men make them feel like what they were doing (whether it be competing or anything else) that they were less than adequate. Or for some reason or another were waiting on validation from other people that they are worthy enough of their companionship and will do anything to please them, even give up on their aspirations or act in a way they normally wouldn’t just for that validation. Almost to the point of becoming diluted versions of themselves! Let me say this… GET OFF THE path to get corroboration from the people around you and return to your own journey. Do not become a passenger of someone else’s and instead be happy being who you are. Girls….Be you… trust me… in the end, you’ll be much happier, and when these guys are gone, you’ll still know who you are! Do not allow yourself to be subjected to these people that are clearly not supportive. By not supporting you or putting your efforts or goals down they are calling themselves out. Realize it, and move on, you are better than that.

So to all you AWESOME women out there who have been or are in a relationship like this… I say this... Embrace yourself and every step of your journey that you take, fitness and otherwise. Love yourself and respect yourself enough to know that you deserve nothing but the very best. Make all your own choices, because in the end YOU have to live with you. Please, just commit yourself to being the magnificent women that you are.



“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.” ~ Carrie, Sex in the City

Thanks to everyone for checking out my new site and for the emails letting me know that you like it! I have been sent a couple of messages about some of the 'thoughts' and 'stories' on my old site. I will repost some of them, edit others and give you a revision, and simple press 'delete' to a couple of others as they are old and are simply not relevant in how I feel or think anymore.

It is so funny to me how as each year passes our thoughts, views and dreams take different paths... all the while we never seem to run off course. Well, I don't anyway. I just go with the flow and where life leads me. For instance, had you asked me 3 years ago where I would be today... I probably wouldn't have answered "...married and floating on Cloud 9". BUT, that is exactly where I am, and wouldn't change the path that brought me here for anything in the world.

Keep your heart and your eyes open, you never know what you will find.

Fitness Myths

UGH! My iPod died at the gym! I can’t believe I forgot to recharge it! Extremely frustrating for sure! Honestly, my iPod is like a security blanket in the gym. If for some reason I ever forgot it, I would turn around and go back to get it before I would train without it. (Note to self.. maybe I will keep an extra iPod in my gym bag…)

Anyway, while training with NO MUSIC, I was privy to a conversation that was taking place between a couple of young guys who are new to the gym. Without going into the entire banter one of the exchanges that I heard was “Dude, I am totally going to McDonalds when I leave here.” The other one replied “Isn’t that stuff bad for us?” without missing a beat the first kid said “Look how hard we just worked out, and besides, I’m trying to gain weight anyway, it doesn’t matter what I eat.”

While this may be a bit true for a 20 year old kid, in general that is a “Fitness Myth”.
Just because you workout hard and often does not mean that you can eat more cheat foods or drink more alcohol! Working out hard and adding muscle to your physique while eating a bunch of ‘junk’ will only force your body to store fat and appear larger than it already is…. And give you no added muscle definition!

Here are a couple of other “Fitness Myths”…

“If I stop working out, my muscle will turn into fat”. Or “I am going to start working out and turn my fat into muscle.” Fat and muscle are two different tissues. Therefore, one cannot turn into the other anymore than an apple can turn into an orange. Building muscle and burning fat are two different processes. The combined effect of building muscle and losing fat may seem as though you're turning fat into muscle, but that is just an illusion. Just as if you stop working out your muscles may atrophy over time, and fat may take its place, however your muscle has not turned into fat.

”How do I lose weight in my butt?” I hate to tell you, but you cannot reduce the body fat in only 1 specific part of your body. You can however, reduce the fat throughout your entire body by adopting a good exercise regimine and clean eating habits. This will cause the specific area you wanted to initially lose fat in, to look how you would like it to.

I hope these couple of ‘truths’ helped to clarify any misleading information that you have heard! Until next time…. H